Friday, July 1, 2011

Internal/External Stressors — and Moving On

 If you figured out that your stressor was an external stressor last weekend (June 24 post), then it's time for problem solving. Sometimes even though you think it's external, it turns out to be internal. But assuming it's really external, not your old inner critic, then ask yourself, "Is it something I have control over?".  E.g. your uptightness is truly, too much to do and no available help. Yes, people are coming to dinner, the kids are grouchy, and you have no food in the house and no idea about dinner.

You do have some control — as long as you can manage any inner critic commentary.  The problem is a lack of time, perhaps patience, and freedom from the kids, to do it "all." So here are some possible solutions.

•  You do take out or order in: pizza or Thai food, sushi or deli sandwiches.
•  You call a friend and ask her to do your shopping for you: Safeway or Costco or Trader Joe's — roasted chicken, pre-made salad, ice cream berries. You have some cheese and crackers and some rice.
• You call your guests and say dinner has turned into a pot luck picnic in the back yard: you'll provide the fried chicken and potato salad (from you know where), they'll bring starters and dessert.

You'll feel instant relief once you make a decision, UNLESS your inner commentary takes over.

• "But Mary made such a fabulous mean last time she had us all over for dinner. She'll think I"m just lazy."
• "Why am I so disorganized? What's wrong with me?"
• "I am so ridiculous. Everybody else can pull this off easily, but I'm a mess. And the back yard looks lousy too. I should have weeded it last weekend."

Make a decision, feel the relief, and get that inner critic out of your head. You know how if you've been following this blog.

If you'd like some humor, check out this link about sensuality as a solution to the problem of stress. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201106/the-new-sexy-how-sensualize-your-life

I like the concept, but not really too practical for many women, most of the time!
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1 comment:

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