Friday, August 12, 2011

Say No — Once this Weekend

I recently read a brief article about busyness as a way to escape from thinking about things we don't want to think about; also as a reason  why people avoid meditation. Then I ran across the article ( link below) about busyness from a PT blogger, who suggests therapy might be needed in serious cases of busyness. I think there are other ways of dealing with busyness, and other ways to think about thinking.

Here are some quick thoughts for the weekend — or next week — or next year for that matter.

• Try saying "no" to a request made of you this weekend, when it is something you don't want to do and don't have to do.
e.g. your friend asks you to watch her two children for a couple of hours Saturday afternoon so she can get work done since she has a Monday AM deadline. You don't have plans, but you're exhausted and hoping to catch a needed nap when your kids are resting. "Sasha, I'm really sorry, but I just can't handle 4 kids tomorrow. I'm so tired and behind myself. I do understand your dilemma, but I'm going to say no this time."

If she's a good friend, she'll not take it personally and be empathetic. If she's not, she might take it personally and then become annoyed and bad mouth you. Oh, well.

Read more in Chapter 5, "Saying No and Meaning It," in my oldie but goody book, Say What You Mean Get What You Want (AMACOM), or let me know you want it and perhaps I can scan it and e-mail it to you.

• Not thinking about things you have control over isn't bad practice. e.g. most of us have no control over the current economic chaos in the world. Yes, we can give some thought to how we can best take care of our own financial situation under these chaotic circumstances but to dwell on the gloom, doom, despair of the future world doesn't do anything for us or the world.  Psychological research has noted that repression, suppression and denial serve useful purposes when used in moderation — just like red meat, sunlight, and use of electronic devices. Therapy isn't needed as a busyness solution from my perspective. It's a phase of most people's lives. It can be competitive. It can be exhausting. But it isn't a diagnosis. It's an ordinary, everyday behavior in the 21st century.

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