Monday, August 1, 2011

A Monday and the First Day of the Month is a Great Time to Detach

All the best advice I've received from friends in the last few days has been focused on detachment as the solution to stress problems that involve lots of people, anger, frustration, controversy, accusations and conflict. Theoretically, I'm an expert on detachment because of my long-term experience with meditation. In practice however I can over-engage, which is sort of a synonym for too intense, too close, too focused. From three very different people, I got the same advice, stated in different words, but highly similar. Back off, reduce the heat, slow the train, pull off the road to a rest stop, smell the roses, leave town, take a break, take a nap etc: all examples of detaching.

Here are some thoughts that I had yesterday as advice for me and to others in my current conflict-filled environment.
The principles are easy. Application is hard.

• Assume to start with that people with whom you are involved, even if they tick you off, don't have bad intentions. They may have made an error in judgment or in communication, but they haven't intentionally meant harm.

• Adopt a willingness to compromise, to acknowledge a mistake.

• Be willing to apologize, forgive, if not forget, or forget, if not forgive.

• Contribute your time and energy to making your specific social system work if you're not currently doing so.

• Continue to be a person of integrity even when you think others are not.

More articles on/about/related to detachment can be found on intelligentwomenonly.com

Older: Jan 14, Jan. 26, and June 28, 2010
Newer: June 13, June 20, June 27, and July 8, 2011
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