Friday, August 19, 2011

More on Saying No

Saying "no" is an art. It's also a great stress reduction technique. And it also can produce stress via the negative self-talk produced by thinking:

Will she think I'm insensitive, uncaring, mean?
Will he retaliate when I ask him to do something?
Will she reject me from the "no" point forward?
Will they think I'm rude, selfish?

And people might think or do any of these things. And they might do them eventually even if you say "yes" to something you really don't want to do, and don't have to do.

So if you're going to start "no-ing", check out your negative self-talk first and try some cognitive restructuring.
"I have the right to say no."
"Saying 'no' is taking good care of myself."
"Better to say 'no' now then have to back out later."

If just saying "no" is difficult for you, or even if it's not, there are many direct, definitive ways you can state your response.
"That week won't work for me."
" I'm overloaded today. Please check back with me tomorrow."
"I'm not able to take on that project right now."

At most add 1 reason. No more. Follow with broken record.

"Sorry, Joe, I'm not available to take over as chair of the neighborhood committee. My weekends are already over scheduled, as I'm sure you understand."

If Joe pushes, then you say, "I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I don't have time to do it," or "I'm working on doing less, rather than more right now Joe."

I'm sure you get it. Now try it! It's a joyful feeling when you find that you can do it easily and escape another burden that you don't have to take on.
More on Saying NoSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

No comments:

Post a Comment

Tell me what you think!