Friday, June 24, 2011

Cognitive Restructuring — Change What You're Saying to Yourself

Here's a simple and significant question to ask yourself as you head into the weekend.  When you feel stressed at home — kids grouchy, too much to do, friends for dinner, partner unhelpful, weeds overtaking the yard, no food in the house — notice whether your stress is due to an external stressor (outside demands) 
to an internal stressor (inside demands) from your inner critic.
"What's wrong with me? I am s-o-o disorganized."
"I'm really a bitchy Mom. I should be much more patient."
"Stupid to invite people  over for dinner when I'm such a lousy cook."

If it's inside stuff, substitute something else benign for now.

" I can do this. One step at a time."
"Take a 2 minute time out self — a few deep breaths."
"Slow down, cool down, you're OK."
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