Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Men Do Negative Self-Talk and Are Trying NOT to —Too.

Brad Waters, a Psychology Today blogger, wrote the rare article/post about men and negative self-talk. The only others I have found focus on getting rid of NST in order to be more successful at hooking up with women. Not of interest to me, although probably useful to some.
 The Waters post was inspired by Conan O'Brien's commencement speech at Dartmouth.The first quote is from Waters, then the link, then comments from me.

"Failure, disappointment, being wrong- distinct in their difference but all too often sharing the end result of feeling bad. How did we get to this time and place where being wrong or failing has such dire consequence? Is it nature or nurture that we end up feeling so emotionally wrecked when we fall short of perfection? Guilt and shame over even the most inconsequential of circumstances. I'm not talking felony crime and punishment, but those everyday/everyman mistakes and failures (and maybe even a misdemeanor here and there)."


I'm glad to see that men are recognizing the over-reaction to error, mistakes, or even failure that shows up in their negative self-talk. And delighted that they are perhaps ready to be more empathetic about women's NST,  plus give us some tips ( if asked for) about how to get rid of it. Maybe we can give them some tips too. Men and women can learn from each other what they haven't learned from nurture.
e.g. men need to learn to express feelings more freely in order to experience less stress and cope more effectively while women need to learn to do problem-solving thinking to accomplish the same ends.

It's worth reading the Water's whole post just to notice women and men's similarities and differences with negative self-talk.
Men Do Negative Self-Talk and Are Trying NOT to —Too.SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

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