Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Left-brain Approach to Talk Yourself through an "Upset"! H-m-m-m.

Here's a left brain approach — problem solving — to dealing with an "upset." Next Monday will be a right brain approach. I'm a left-brain person but I have to admit I find this method a bit tedious!
Here's the linkhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201103/trauma-loss-and-recovery-universal-approach. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201103/trauma-loss-and-recovery-universal-approach

The Seven Steps to Recovery is a way to talk and walk yourself through any upset you've had and make things better instead of worse.
  1. Physical Awareness: when you're feeling stressed, think to yourself, "I am physically feeling _____ [what] in my _____ [where in your body]."
  2. Emotional Awareness: "And emotionally I feel _____ [angry? frustrated? scared? sad? disappointed? hurt? upset?] and how my _____ [fill in the emotion you just named] is _____ [name the level of intensity]."
  3. Impulse Awareness: "And feeling _____ [name the physical feeling] and _____ [name the emotional feeling], and feeling it _____ [name the level of intensity], makes me want to _____ [name the impulse]."
  4. Consequence Awareness: "If I act on that impulse, the most likely immediate consequence will be _____, and a longer-term consequence will be _____.
  5. Reality Awareness: "While I am holding off (for now) on acting on that impulse, an other and more accurate perception of what might really be going on is _____________________ [seeing the world as it actually is, can further help you not react to the way it isn't].
  6. Solution Awareness: "A better thing for me to do instead would be to _____ [fill in an alternate behavior such as counting to 10, waiting 24 hours, or thinking of what you want the outcome to be immediately and in the long term, and what you need to do to achieve those outcomes].
  7. Benefit Awareness: "If I try that solution, the benefit to me immediately will be _____ [for example, "I won't make things worse," or, "I won't do more things that I'll regret and then have to apologize to people for them"] and in the long term will be _____ [for example, "I'll be on my way to making things better," or, "I'll have more respect for myself and gain more from others"].
If you are a person for whom positive affirmations or self-talk do not work (I am such a person), imagine doing the above exercise with someone who cares or cared about you (I imagine my deceased parents and deceased mentors going through the seven steps with me).
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