A recent experience in a group discussion reminded me of a "the more things change, the more things stay the same." The topic was the status of education in the U.S. A frequent contributor and articulate woman prefaced half of her comments with disclaimers. E.g. "I don't have anywhere near the experience you do in this area, but . . . " or "I haven't studied this topic extensively but . . . " or "You're all more expert on this subject . . . " Many intelligent women have the disclaimer habit, just as they have the negative self-talk habit. And we over apologize. Another example, not from the discussion participant I mentioned,: "I'm sorry to bother you with this, and maybe I should have figured this out for myself, but since I'm new to the job . . . ." Why do women engage in that crazy behavior? What's more important is how can we change it? We don't have to be braggarts or narcissists. All we have to do is accept a compliment, recognition, appreciation.
I saw the following quote in a
Psychology Today blog, Wander Woman.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201109/how-women-can-embrace-their-power It seems to match up.
Therefore, if you are a woman, consider these questions:
- What will it take for you to admit that you have talents, skills and wisdom that people admire and recognize?
- What will it take for you to feel pride for the effect you have on others?
- What will it take for you to acknowledge that you might be a role model?
The response is simple and clear.
Say, "Thank you."
"I appreciate your comment."
"I agree that I do a good job running a meeting."
"I've worked hard to be more diplomatic and I'm glad you noticed.'
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