Wednesday, September 21, 2011

If You're a Wander Woman, Let Go of Some Assumptions

Here's the next piece from Wander Woman by Marcia Reynolds. I wrote about it first on September 7th so you might check back on that post if you missed it. Reynolds, a psychologist, labels Chapter 4 of her book "R" for Reality as she hits high-achieving women over the heads with some alarming assumptions they generally have about themselves.

• There is a right answer and it is mine.
• Everything is up to me
• I will always be disappointed

If this fits for you, you're a Wander Woman. If it doesn't, you're fortunate because maybe you don't have to make all the changes Reynolds puts forth in this very wise book.

Here in brief are the actions she says will lead to greater contentment and clearer direction.

• "The key to shifting out of always being right is to consciously choose to learn when you think you already know the answers."
(OK, I'm saying to myself. That seems like a waste of time if I know I'm right, but I do understand what Marcia is advocating. It makes sense and I have a meeting tonight that might be sticky and tense. I'll give consciously choosing to learn a shot.)

• "In order to release yourself from your limiting beliefs, you need to first vision a successful life without them. Slowing down your critical mind is good practice for now."
( Maybe slowing down my critical mind, choosing to learn is all I can manage for now. Visioning a successful life without the assumptions that I have lived with on and off for years, up and down, more and less, seems way too complex at the moment.)

• "You can [choose] use your keyword to keep from choking when your boss ticks you off, your team seems clueless, and all you want to do is knock some sense into the people around you."
( Oh, yes. I understand that "knock some sense" comment too well. This may be easier than the visioning for me. I can think of some words that might help me. e.g. wait, breathe, detach, let go. If I hold off a bit, I'll be able to hold off for a long time. If I still feel like reacting, I can always do it an hour later, a day later, a month later.)

I'll read on and pass along my thoughts. This books hits me where I need to be hit — in the head. How about you?
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