Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Technique of the Week, Step 2

Technique of the Week follows up on the Dec. 15th post. Now that you've carefully noticed your self-talk for a week and jotted it down, look over the whole week's notes and see if you can find a pattern.

• Maybe you discover that you're a realistic thinker. Your self-talk shows a pattern of, "I solved that problem reasonably well," "I'm not looking so great this morning, but the new shoes are a kick." "I let that grumpy feeling go pretty fast today. Good for me."

Perhaps you find a negative self-talk pattern. "I always overreact. What's wrong with me?" "I look ridiculously bad this morning." "I'm such a loser. I'm always so stressed out. I'm a mess."

• You could be a very positive thinker. "My problems will be gone because the Universe will send me what I want." "I love my new haircut, my beautiful, clear skin, my great look this morning." "I look good. I feel good. I am good."

Or you could have found that your pattern is negative thinking about OTHER people, not yourself. "She's so emotional. What's wrong with her?" "She looks so stupid today. What an awful looking outfit." "He's always so grumpy. What a jerk."

Of course you could also have a mix of all. If you're a true negative self-talker, an overthinker, then you will easily find that you fit the pattern in bold italics above, even if there are other kinds of self-talk going on. If this fits for you, instead of dumping on yourself some more try out this next move.

Acknowledge without judgment,  “Yes, I have acquired the negative self-talk habit, like many other women.”  The key is without judgment; just as you might acknowledge that you have brown hair like many other women, you acknowledge NST without criticism, recognizing that you have control of your thinking if you choose to take it.

Let me know your experience with this realistic bit of self-talk.
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