Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Some Women Don't, Won't and Hardly Ever Did Negative Self-talk — And Mark Zuckerberg Does

A Sunday NY Times Business Section article discusses the relationship between Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg, both of Facebook fame. "She (Ms. Sandberg) can be just as protective of Mr. Zuckerberger in private. At a technology conference this summer, for instance, Mr. Zuckerberg flopped during an onstage interview. He gave rambling answer to questions about Facebook's privacy policies, became visibley nervous and statrted sweating profusely. After the interview, Ms. Sandberg encouraged him not to beat himself up over it, but to focus on parts of the interview that went well so he could do better next time, . . . " A great example of substituting instructional, realistic thinking for negative self-talk to a 26 year old man from a 41 year old women.

I was reminded that although women are the majority of NSTers, men do it too. Mr. Zuckerberg is in the decade (25-35) where the highest percentage (men and women) of adult NSTers reside.  Men have an additional dilemma. Generally they don't ask for directions, and also don't ask for help in dealing with their inner lives, thoughts or feelings. In this situation Ms. Sandberg offered terrific, although unsolicited advice, which I sure hope he took.

Another reminder from the article was that there are plenty of women in the world who don't, won't, and rarely did engage in negative self-talk. After reading Ms. Sandberg's impressive history she clearly hasn't let any grass grow under her feet or any negative self-talk block her talents or forward movement.

 I also started thinking about intelligentwomenonly.com readers. There must be women who are like Sheryl Sandberg —smart and not blocked or bothered by the gray ghoul, the inner critic, the put down voice.  I'd love to hear your story about how, why or when you started to NOT be a negative self-talker.
• Maybe you never were one because you had no NST models to influence you.
• Perhaps you saw it, heard it in others and made an early choice to NOT imitate the self-put down talk.
• Possibly at a young age you found the repetitive self-critical conversations with friends or family boring and a waste of time and made a decision to avoid participation.

100 words or less — your name or anonymous. We'll vote for the best and feature your comment as part of a new blog post if you'd like — or not if you wouldn't.
Some Women Don't, Won't and Hardly Ever Did Negative Self-talk — And Mark Zuckerberg DoesSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

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