Are Internal or External Stressors the Real Cause of Your Stress?

I propose that for many women, inner stressors such as unrealistic demands and expectations of themselves, communicated through harsh negative self-talk, create greater and more frequent pressure than external stressors. For example, you've invited friends over for dinner Saturday night. You've got a busy day as most weekend days are with the kids activities, house stuff like weeding or finding outdoor furniture, but you figure you can make it work. Maybe you can get to the Farmer's market and have burgers, corn on the grill and a big salad  — on the patio. Oops. It starts raining mid-day. Your 2 year old is grouchy. The house is messy.


What’s the major cause of the stress? The external or the internal stressors? The chaos itself or your negative self-talk about the chaos? The icy road or the self-criticism? The deadline ahead or the inner critic? I'd like to know your response. Please send me your comment, particularly if you disagree.