tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56307116098715390582012-02-17T11:02:50.531-08:00Intelligent Women OnlyIntelligentwomenonly.com targets smart women who want to think logically,
behave confidently, and handle their lives with greater intellect and lesser
emotion. Stress reduction, eliminating negative self-talk, problem-solving
thinking, cognitive restructuring, and detachment/distraction are recurring
themes. Gender differences and provocative psychosocial and political themes
show up weekly too.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.comBlogger2101100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-83085913944088633382012-02-17T03:30:00.003-08:002012-02-17T09:35:34.627-08:00Do You Ever Daydream? Do you daydream — anymore? Since childhood? Do you remember other times when life was gentler, simpler and you had time for drifting off? Are you a person who thinks daydreaming is a waste of time or a lazy, distraction from important thinking? Or do you find it valuable and productive — or at least relaxing? Here's Wickipedia's basic definition. A daydream is a visionary fantasy especially oneIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-77792525907982138442012-02-15T03:30:00.001-08:002012-02-15T03:30:03.058-08:00Enough about Gender Differences! I don't like the article I'm suggesting you link to, with, on(?) and I'm wondering what early or mid-career readers think about it. For me, the gender difference stuff has become overdone and irrelevant. This article sounds like diversity stuff from the late 1990s. It's not that the article doesn't have accuracy, but it's way outdated from my viewpoint.
http://www.theglasshammer.com/news/2012/02Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-39932184407072209422012-02-13T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-13T03:30:02.897-08:00Talking Out Loud Enhances Problem-Solving — and Might increase IQ
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This article on problem-solving looks very cool on SharpBrains.com It was published on 2/9/2012 so may still be on the front page! If you're in a hurry, read the last 3 paragraphs and Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-85242228654770145382012-02-10T08:55:00.000-08:002012-02-10T08:55:14.438-08:00Marshmallow testHere's a 3 minute video of kids and the marshmallow experiment — strategic allocation of attention. Very cute and evocative of grown ups stress avoiding temptation. I found it in an article on addiction and ego depletion by a PT blogger. I tweeted it if you want to read that too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EjJsPylEOY&feature=youtu.beIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-48126686044966469752012-02-10T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-11T08:45:02.422-08:00More Psychological Distancing TechniquesPsychological distancing techniques have lots in common with strategic allocation of attention. If you check out these two links — http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-02-06T03:30:00-08:00&max-results=3 and http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/2012/01/self-control-will-power-or-strategic.html— or even if you don't — you can see the connection. Strategic Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-75943671970851631472012-02-08T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-08T06:42:24.548-08:00Difficult, Tricky Communication?Comment from a reader (A) asking for advice about how to handle a particular type of person (B) and communication style. The quote is altered to protect the guilty. Unfortunately the irrational, bullying style described isn't a rarity in person, on the phone, on e-mail or social media. Here's an approximation of the conversation.
(A) "I don't think there's a definite answer to the question of Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-47089988133658053212012-02-07T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-07T03:30:02.018-08:00I always read and learn from the Essay on the last page of the New York Times Sunday Book Review. The topic often relates to writers and the writing life as did the recent essay by Anne Trubek, "140 Characters in Search of An Author." I found the title misleading.The content focused on the continuing pressure for writers to emerge from the garret, open mind and soul, disclose their creative Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-23871758751657204892012-02-06T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-06T03:30:02.352-08:00You go girl! Sheryl SandbergNY Times, February 5, 2012 article about Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook addresses her chosen mission as role model for women in business and technology. Promoting women is the cause. Her message for women, aim high and keep your foot on the gas pedal.
Here's a link to a speech she made in 2011 to a group of women in technology.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMVCSrm65kg
Sandberg, a Harvard Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-54505767042791738842012-02-03T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-03T03:30:01.027-08:00Psychological Distance as Stress ReducerAs the weekend approaches, start thinking about ways that you can have a relaxing couple of days; or at least one day. What are the anticipated stressors on that day? A birthday party for your 5 year old? New neighbors coming over for dinner? Yard guys renovating the back yard with loud noise all day? Getting everyone up and out on Sunday for church and brunch with grandparents? Work deadlines Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-63295598030706071622012-02-01T03:30:00.000-08:002012-02-01T03:30:02.516-08:00"Just What is Authenticity, Anyway?" Karen Wright wonders in her PT blog/article "Dare to Be Yourself.". Link below.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200804/dare-be-yoursel
Below is an excerpted paragraph from Wright's article. The question she asks has been on my mind since the word authenticity became hot. Motivational speakers spoke of it reverently at conferences, corporate training Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-58284788133983558842012-01-30T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-30T13:24:26.180-08:00Self-Control, Will Power or Strategic Allocation of Attention?
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“Don’t, The Secret of self-control,” is the compelling title of Jonah Lehrer’s 2009 New Yorker article about strategic allocation of attention. The story focuses on the 1960s research ofIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-70058035584647099442012-01-27T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-27T03:30:01.789-08:00Strategic Allocation of Attention as a Stress Reduction TechniqueHere's an earlier post about strategic allocation of attention which is an old concept with brand new ramifications. SAA is a stress reduction technique as described below and a useful way to manage emotions and increase self-control. In an upcoming post I'm going to talk about a new project related to strategic allocation of attention which can have important consequences for us all.
Strategic Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-50063590433923777052012-01-25T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-25T08:17:38.880-08:00Exercise, Healthy Eating and No Negative Self-Talk"Although the happiest among the elderly seem to tolerate the aches and pains of old age with minimal complaint, they also urge younger people to treat their body as though it must last for a hundred years. That means no smoking, plenty of exercise, and a healthy diet. 'It's not dying you should worry about,' Pillemer said, summarizing the advice of his experts, 'It's chronic disease. What Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-60823920784408732142012-01-24T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-24T03:30:01.255-08:00Writers, Zen and the Internal CriticHere's the link to a new article I wrote about writers' block as a guest blogger.
http://www.fictionebook.net/writers-zen-and-the-internal-critic-part-1-by-judith-c-tingley/Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-19136988952284008442012-01-23T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-23T03:30:00.476-08:00Talent Matters! Good News or Bad?Neuroscience is hitting the op-ed pages of newspapers and feature sections of magazines with increasing frequency. "Sorry, Strivers: Talent Matters" is the title of a Nov. 2011 NY Times article opposing the theory that hard work beats smarts and practice does make perfect. Malcolm Gladwell, pop-psychologizing K. Anders Ericsson's research results, implies that we are all capable of dramatic Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-65778639513945474612012-01-20T14:39:00.000-08:002012-01-20T14:39:47.385-08:00System 1, System 2 and Negative/Positive Self-TalkPlodding a bit in reading Kahneman's book, Thinking. It's long, full of research, and well-written in a conversational style, but not always interesting to me. He nicely simplifies System 1 and System 2 thinking styles as "just" the labels chosen. They could just as well have been Max and Sam or Sue and Lou. Here are some interesting ideas gleaned from bopping around the book.
• Over confidenceIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-5700500495610440562012-01-19T08:24:00.000-08:002012-01-19T08:25:33.537-08:00Speaking and Writing Benefit from Each Other's StrengthsHere's a quick quote from a book review — Gotham Writers. It ties in to an earlier post on intelligentwomenonly.com about public speaking for writers. Not exactly the same but related to speaking, although public not private. http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/2010/12/post-is-article-that-i-wrote-for-asja.html
What Speech Can Bring to Writing
In Vernacular Eloquence, Peter Elbow makes a Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-26051027755510819052012-01-18T08:40:00.000-08:002012-01-18T08:41:55.981-08:00Two Brains — The Intuitive and the Rational/Logical I'm re-posting this past post as a way of re-setting the context for some future posts.
I'm now actually reading Kahneman's book and finding many pieces of information that are relevant to what this blog addresses: intelligent thinking women, understanding ourselves, managing our thinking and emotions effectively, communicating and taking action in the most effective ways at work and in Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-20365692201964250312012-01-16T08:25:00.000-08:002012-01-16T08:25:02.751-08:00What Kind of Repetitive Negative Thinker Are You? Or Aren't You?A recent research study about repetitive negative thinking (otherwise known as rumination) identifies three different types.
• Rumination that maintain the focus on emotions. E.g. "‘When I’m feeling sad, I think about the other times I felt that way." Thinking about negative feelings in the present often brings up past times when thoughts and feelings were also negative. The mind cycles cyclingIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-13977390846571231942012-01-13T21:44:00.000-08:002012-01-13T21:44:46.192-08:00Link Back to Gender Differences and Compassion etc.Here's a link to a better article than my poar about the research on gender difference and compassion that I commented on 1/13/2012.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/family-friendly/201201/men-and-women-still-both-earthIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-13293345375483854442012-01-13T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-13T03:30:02.316-08:00No News Flash — Women Are More Compassionate than MenI've been looking for new neuroscientific research about the connection between negative self-talk, which is actually negative thinking about one's self, and emotion, which is usually negative to coincide with the thinking. Still haven't found it in any brain imagery stuff, but it must be right around the corner, or hidden in the past where I've not found it yet.
OK. Friday's post may not be as Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-21021762226709064472012-01-11T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-11T03:30:00.584-08:00Apology in Advance: Uninteresting Research Produces Uninteresting Stream of Consciousness.A recent article about gender differences from Psychcentral* looked very interesting initially so I went back and looked at the scientific journal that reported the original research, conducted by psychologists from Italy and the UK. Here's their final paragraph.
"In conclusion, we believe we made it clear that the true extent of sex differences in human personality has been consistently Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-21164499303986648362012-01-09T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-09T03:30:01.370-08:00Quick Summary of 3 Ways to Eliminate NST
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Here's Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-41850782549781264872012-01-06T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-06T03:30:00.202-08:00Intuitve Thinking and Brain Silence "The sounds of silence are a dim recollection now, like mystery, privacy and paying attention to one thing — or one person — at a time.
As far back as half-a-century ago, the Swiss philosopher Max Picard warned: 'Nothing has changed the nature of man so much as the loss of silence, once as natural as the sky and air.' " A quote from Maureen Dowd.
If you've read the previous posts* Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-17973256929023801262012-01-04T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-04T03:30:00.365-08:00Emotions and Thinking — A New Model?A quote from Sharpbrains.com: one of ten quotes about neuroplasticity.
“Emotion is the system that tells us how important something is. Attention focuses us on the important and away from the unimportant things. Cognition tells us what to do about it. Cognitive skills are whatever it takes to do those things.”
I'm not sure I totally get the quote or know the difference Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-55982712173306675722012-01-03T09:44:00.000-08:002012-01-03T09:44:23.265-08:00Loneliness Ameliorated Through Writing?This quote from William Kenower in The Author, an online newsletter from Pacific Northwest Writers Association, hit me at the holidays. I was feeling lonely although not alone, and sometimes in a crowd; a not uncommon experience for me during times of expected celebration, such as birthdays.
"Writing answered loneliness, and perhaps precisely because I had to do it alone. Not only did I Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-37037265121366229652012-01-02T03:30:00.000-08:002012-01-12T22:55:18.925-08:00Goal for January? Get Rid of NST — Start Now, End February 1.The Writer magazine, January 2012, provides a brief article about combating negative self-talk — for writers. I've long believed that NST causes most symptoms of writers' block or even acetia, a topic I posted about last week. It's just the content of the internal monologue that differs slightly between people. E.g. "No one wants to read your writing," hangs in with "Your opinions are Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-72939884377375313592011-12-31T11:05:00.000-08:002011-12-31T11:05:45.607-08:00Neuroscience and Kissing? Maybe TMI!Here's the link to the article below, which may deflate romanticists dreams, validate common sense, and demonstrate once again that neuroscience is the new celebrity of culture in the second decade of the 21st century.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/23/AR2010122304771.html
Sealed with a kiss - and neuroscience
(Pnc) Enlarge Photo Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-66274916612660384242011-12-30T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-30T04:30:00.510-08:00Yes, We All Like Stuff that Mirrors Our Own Opinion. Here It Is in Spades!"Isn’t positive thinking better than negative thinking? All other things being equal, sure, but the alternative to being either an optimist or a pessimist is to be a realist. “Human intellectual progress, such as it has been, results from our long struggle to see things ‘as they are,’ or in the most universally comprehensible way, and not as projections of our own emotions,” Ehrenreich Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-33187713357473244962011-12-28T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-28T04:30:02.303-08:00Getting Ready to Get Ready to Make ChangesI'm thinking and talking and writing about change; change that I am choosing, not change that is being imposed upon me. Theoretically, we prefer change that we have control over to that which we do not. But, we can't necessarily stick to change even change we choose. The will or skill to do so is labeled in many ways: will power, self-control, strategic allocation of attention. I started last Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-67787539412120298902011-12-27T15:32:00.000-08:002011-12-27T15:35:20.311-08:00Do You Suffer from Acedia?John Plotz opens his NYTimes Book Review essay (Dec. 25, 2011) with the following paragraph.
"By some miracle, you set aside a day to tackle that project you can't seem to finish in the office. You close the door, boot up your laptop, open the right file and . . . five minutes later catch yourself thinking about dinner. By 10 a.m., you're staring at the wall, even squinting at it between your Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-87242035799770456902011-12-23T09:39:00.000-08:002011-12-23T09:39:51.764-08:00Detaching from WWW.Letting go of all things electronic for the next four days in order to be "in the moment", whether the moment is joyous, anxious, calm or content, sad — or mad or glad. The "retreat" is a spa treatment for my brain. It already feels good to my body too. Back posting on December 28th.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-1300369596571988372011-12-21T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-21T04:30:00.991-08:00Calm, Cool, and Collected for Holiday Time?Here's a piece of a 2010 post that might help you deal with NST and resulting stress in the week or so ahead. Right now is the time to find a calming, realistic mantra: "I'm letting the stress go for now." "One step at a time. I'll make it work." "I can do it." "One week (or one day) and this will all be over." "I will be fine and I will be happy." Then just say it over and over to yourself likeIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-61715997280266088832011-12-19T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-19T04:30:00.123-08:00Pull Out All Techniques So You Can Have a Good Day, Week, MonthThere's a whole week until Christmas, two days until Hanukkah, and two weeks until the new year. This is often a time of too much and too little: too much to do and not enough time to do it, too many expectations and too few resources, too much fatigue and too little sleep, too much perfectionism and too little acceptance, too much up tight and not enough relaxation.
Looking back and looking Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-66506514269037839432011-12-14T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-14T04:30:02.995-08:00How to Have a Healthy Brain
Here's an interesting article about brain neuroplasticity and brain health. Guess what? Success in life all still all seems to boil down to exercise, good nutrition, and stress reduction — key to just about everything that we'd like to have, be, do, but have difficulty achieving!
Another example of "the more things change, the more things stay the same."
This also ties in to why we Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-60634749738888000772011-12-12T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-12T04:30:00.769-08:00Mexico, Detachment, and No StressBack on the detachment kick as a stress reduction technique. I'm in Mexico, where it's particularly easy to be "in the moment". I'm looking out over the earth curved water's edge, the beach inhabited only by willets and seagulls, life uncomplicated by responsibilities other than cooking occasionally, watching tiny sand islands suddenly emerge as the tide goes out then expand into endless Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-75363990802951795802011-12-09T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-09T04:30:04.602-08:00Why Women Need to Support MenHere's a quote from Marcia Reynolds (author of Wander Woman) a colleague whom I have quoted previously in posts.
"There is an identity evolution going on around the world. Economic necessity has spurred women to be more self-sufficient and confident both at work and at home. This reality has put a dent in male dominance. However, the result is not the "End of Men" as many writers would Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-39269569423982576262011-12-07T07:17:00.000-08:002011-12-07T07:17:52.891-08:00WW: Ann Patchett — Writer, Entertainer, EntrepreneurTrumpet blast! News flash!
Today's post opens the curtain on a new subject for intelligentwomenonly.com, Writers and Writing. It shows up now as the 8th and bottom red box on the right side of the intelligentwomenonly.com site. Posts on the topic will show up haphazardly for now, all labeled "Writers and Writing" and carrying WW in the title line. If you have ideas, thoughts, comments about Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-38044777260076498882011-12-05T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-05T04:30:02.721-08:00Rumination — Often an Extension of Negative Self-Talk David Brooks, columnist and author of The Social Animal, asked people in their sixties and seventies to write to him about life and learnings. Here's a snippet from one of his recent columns as he categorizes and summarizes the responses he receives.
Beware rumination. There were many long, detailed essays by people who are experts at self-examination. They could finely calibrate each Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-40135327573052991992011-12-02T04:30:00.000-08:002011-12-02T04:30:04.618-08:00The Pain and Pressure of Negative Self-TalkHere's the beginning of a heart-felt article and link to the rest at http://thinksimplenow.com Reading this along (with permission) in contrast to the usual research-based stuff. This is real life, from the heart.
How to Stop Negative Self-Talk
Photo by aeschleah
By Tina Su
Do you know what makes life difficult?
The answer is simple: it’s us. :)
It is us, and that large and complex brain Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-10941068459053506302011-11-30T06:55:00.000-08:002011-11-30T09:11:53.898-08:00Is Mind-Set Created by Self-Talk?If our unconscious mind controls most of our behavior, can it be said that we truly have willpower? A recent article in the NYTimes, 11/27/2011 by two Stanford researchers refers to earlier research (mentioned at IWO, http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/2011/09/no-negative-self-tallk-for-intelligent.html) and a subsequent book by Baumeister and Tierney that says "willpower is limited and Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-35591178867699427582011-11-28T06:30:00.000-08:002011-11-28T06:30:01.319-08:00Even More Researched Reasons for Women to Eliminate Negative Self-TalkGender differences in the experience of stress and coping with stress have been mentioned previously in this blog. A brief summary:
• Women experience more stress than men; meaning they say they feel stressed more often and more intensely than men.
• Men's coping techniques, logical problem-solving and detachment, work more effectively than women's coping techniques of emotionality and Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-81323465081335827462011-11-25T20:36:00.000-08:002011-11-25T20:36:40.980-08:00I Inadvertantly Said No to Posting TodayThe day after Thanksgiving is always like Saturday of a 3 day weekend for me — and maybe for many of you. Thinking that way is my reason for not posting today because it felt like Saturday, except it was Friday. I'll be back on Monday. In the groove. I had a delightful Thanksgiving without stress, family friction, or turkey traumas.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-51955550132361547822011-11-23T06:30:00.000-08:002011-11-23T06:30:00.630-08:00Decline of American Exceptionalism? A recent Op-ED by Charles M. Blow in the NY Times, titled "Decline of American Exceptionalism" opens with this paragraph.
"Is America exceptional among nations? Are we, as a country and a people and a culture, set apart and better than others? Are we, indeed, the “shining city upon a hill” that Ronald Reagan described? Are we “chosen by God and commissioned by history to be a model to the Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-46884830340092604202011-11-21T20:03:00.000-08:002011-11-21T20:03:26.363-08:00Gender Differences Can Be FunnyStill sticking with humor is a comment from blog-reader Martha Lundin regarding the post about intuitive/logical thinking . Here's a link to a previous post on the topic. http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/2011/11/intuitive-versus-logical-problem.html
"I chuckled when I saw your list of steps for classical sequential, cyclical problem-solving for men. My husband did it for a problem that I Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-43148140022675769362011-11-18T06:30:00.000-08:002011-11-18T06:30:00.319-08:00Are Men or Women Funnier? Who Says So Anyway?An article in a psychology journal reported research that said men are perceived to be slightly funnier that women. The research involved joke-telling and putting captions on cartoons. The gender of the joke teller or cartoon captioner was not disclosed. Both male and female listener/responders saw men as funnier. A theory; men use humor as seduction of women. Like the peacock's beautiful tail, Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-66507586527567205052011-11-14T06:30:00.000-08:002011-11-14T10:24:27.502-08:00Intuitive vs. LogicalAfter the Perry debate error and oops comment, my OOPS! has taken on a whole different nuance. I'll have to change my standard usage of that term.
After today's all day writers' workshop on editing, publishing, social media, and all the new stuff about blogs, e-books, and technology that I don't quite get, I'm overwhelmed and zonked. But it did generate an idea about my blog. I think I'll add Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-24825104122799820002011-11-11T17:35:00.000-08:002011-11-11T17:35:59.397-08:00OOPS! A missed post.Off to a writers conference at Stanford! Will tell you more about it next week!Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-10767262616719234642011-11-09T09:26:00.000-08:002011-11-09T12:25:44.463-08:00Intuitive versus Logical Problem-SolvingOOPS! The link I had previously placed here took readers to the Dec. presenter's promo for OPEN MIC Science, not my promo for the November presentation on Problem-Solving Thinking — which went very well by the way. But the rest of the post is about some of the audience's comments.
Lots of interesting comments and questions from the intellectually curious audience.
• Do people always have a Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-29327116439874356692011-11-07T06:30:00.000-08:002011-11-06T20:51:02.714-08:00New spin from Flourish, A Visionary New Understanding of Well-Being by Martin SeligmanAs I mentioned in Nov. 4th post, Seligman is the "father" of positive psychology. His early book, Learned Optimism was an outstanding book which focused on getting rid of negative self-talk and learning to NOT be a pessimist. Why? Because optimists are healthier, live longer, are happier etc. Somehow the learned optimism concept morphed into a different concept and later book, Authentic HappinessIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-15332501515604559362011-11-04T06:30:00.000-07:002011-11-04T06:30:03.731-07:00Optimism and PessimismLong-time readers know that I'm a long-time critic of the overdone positive thinking movement. Barbara Ehrenreich's 2009 book Brightsided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America was a key factor in demonstrating that the positive Emperor was wearing no clothes. The Secret and it's silly sequel were so far out that a boomerang backlash had to happen.
Now Martin Seligman's (psychologist and Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-54603731462083146932011-11-02T11:39:00.000-07:002011-11-02T11:40:43.029-07:00Collective Intelligence
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Groups are generally much more efficient at solving problems than individuals. Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-84729354096904593552011-10-31T08:22:00.000-07:002011-10-31T08:22:48.640-07:00Problem-Solving Thinking Is Becoming a CelebrityYes, I'm exaggerating. But suddenly, just as you notice hundreds of Nissan Leaf's when you buy one yourself, I'm noticing references to problem-solving everywhere I look. Neuroscience is investigating and exploring new evidence of styles of problem solving, books are being written for the mainstream, and articles are being written about the books!
I'm quoting today from a friend's commencement Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-69421826141228724162011-10-27T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-27T20:51:03.804-07:00Eliminating Negative Self-Talk — Category 3, Detachment and DistractionBefore you go further with today's post, re-read the January 7th Technique of the Week post. The WSJ article mentioned discussed a new addition to the cognitive therapy protocol. Cognitive theory underlies all the techniques described in Handbook #1 for Intelligent Women: Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit, the book I've been working on for the past year — and will be still working on in Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-61486907859905230942011-10-26T11:12:00.000-07:002011-10-26T11:12:31.921-07:00Poll About Problem-Solving Style What type of problem-solving thinking process do you use in your work? http://linkd.in/oB3OBB
Please take a minute to take this very quick poll about problem-solving. Thanks. I'll give you the results at the end of 23 more days.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-42837445632635760852011-10-26T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-26T06:30:00.841-07:00Another Man Talks About Negative Self-Talk Here's the link to an interesting blog post about self-sabotage through negative self-talk by Michael J. Formica, a Psychology Today blogger.
http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=5630711609871539058&postID=5197029169306459475
I found it particularly interesting because it was written by a man — unusual, although he doesn't count himself in specifically. I asked him to guest post on this Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-52706864487347710052011-10-24T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-24T06:30:01.852-07:00Listening is problem-solving help says Peter Bregman, PT blogger I posted last month about the effectiveness of problem-solving in families and also TAPPS, talking out loud to yourself as a useful way to improve your problem-solving abilities. http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/2011/09/problem-solve-out-loud-and-alone-even.html
Here's an interesting post from a Psychology Today blogger about listening as an aid to problem-solving for yourself and the Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-10640595108413045852011-10-21T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-21T08:04:17.617-07:00Eliminating Negative Self-Talk — Category 2, Cognitive RestructuringOctober 17th post addressed eliminating negative self-talk through problem-solving, generally a good place to start the trek to breaking the NST habit. Today, the post focuses on Cognitive Restructuring, the 2nd of 3 main categories of techniques to get rid of negative self-talk.
• Cognitive Restructuring — A Classic Way to Change Your Inner Monologue
Cognitive restructuring is a psychological Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-19602480982258384232011-10-20T10:22:00.000-07:002011-10-20T10:22:00.186-07:00Please Respond to Poll About Problem-SolvingWhat type of problem-solving thinking process do you use in your work? http://linkd.in/oB3OBB
Please click on the poll and take less than a minute to respond. Thank you. I'll let you know the results in 30 days.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-84491447261159569392011-10-19T22:43:00.000-07:002011-10-19T22:43:53.758-07:00A New/Old Take on Women and Men at WorkHere's a link to the entire article about high potential women — whom I assume means smart too!
http://bottomline.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/17/8322383-women-doing-all-the-right-things-still-lag-men-in-business
"A study by research firm Catalyst has found that women with MBAs who are considered high potential are using all the right career strategies to get ahead, but the pay and promotion Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-41200309250883255202011-10-17T06:40:00.000-07:002011-10-17T06:40:00.154-07:00The Big Picture — Eliminate Negative Self-TalkIf you are a negative self-talker, and you understand NST, and you've read tips and tried some of your own techniques, and you're still dragging the inner critic and the subsequent bummed out feelings around with you — it's time to STOP. There are three primary categories of proven ways to eliminate or reduce negative self talk.
• Problem-solving thinking — A good place to start getting rid Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-43409546752353850832011-10-14T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-14T06:30:02.530-07:00Ramp Up Your Problem-Solving ThinkingI'm working on a chapter for Handbook#1 for Intelligent Women Only: Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit and preparing for a presentation on problem-solving thinking, so I'm immersed. I have a one question poll that you can respond to about problem-solving, anonymously, on Twitter. Go to @drtingley on Twitter or tohttp://t.co/1JMbOs6v http://t.co/1JMbOs6v to take the survey. I would greatly Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-14498399972336590362011-10-11T06:40:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:24:07.268-07:00Wisdom and Detachment — WOW Here's a short youtube video about improving problem-solving skills by moving away from the problem; a type of detachment. Ethan Kross is the University of Michigan research and assistant professor of psychology. You can find more on detachment by looking under Try Some Techniques. Here are a couple of links to earlier (1/14 and 1/19/2011) posts on the topic.
http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.gIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-14631512469436108762011-10-10T09:17:00.000-07:002011-10-10T09:17:16.859-07:00Rumination is NOT Problem-Solving"Rumination: Problem-Solving Gone Wrong — How Rehashing the Situation Can Ruin Your Mood" is the title of Eddie Selby's post on his PT blog, Overcoming Self-Sabotage. Here's the link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-self-sabotage/201002/rumination-problem-solving-gone-wrong
Selby points out astutely that we all can label our endless rehashing of relationship problems, work issues,Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-52401354739617555542011-10-08T09:44:00.000-07:002011-10-08T09:44:13.610-07:00OOPS! A missed post.Friday was a missed post day. I was traveling to a writer's retreat in Nevada which basically took up my day and my strategic allocation of attention. But now that I'm here I should have plenty of time to write.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-33858530060349647442011-10-05T11:49:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:48:30.430-07:00Fail to Succeed? A recent article in the NYTimes Sunday magazine, although focused on children, had ramifications for adult women, and seemed connected with the October 3rd post http://intelligentwomenonly.blogspot.com/2011/10/eliminate-disclaimers-and-overripe.html. Paul Tough, author of "The Character Test", quoted the headmaster of a private Eastern school. ". . . there was this idea in America that if you Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-38402350764496145742011-10-02T21:19:00.000-07:002011-10-10T09:55:53.605-07:00Eliminate Disclaimers and Overripe ApologiesA recent experience in a group discussion reminded me of a "the more things change, the more things stay the same." The topic was the status of education in the U.S. A frequent contributor and articulate woman prefaced half of her comments with disclaimers. E.g. "I don't have anywhere near the experience you do in this area, but . . . " or "I haven't studied this topic extensively but . . . " or Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-84903204400848320922011-09-30T11:37:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:26:41.382-07:00Brief Review of What Is, Why Is Negative Self-Talk — And How to Get Rid of ItLong-time readers from around the world understand the concept of negative self-talk and may already have taken the challenge to eliminate it. Other readers may know alot about NST from other sources or experiences. Here's the framework I use to think, speak and write about it.
As a psychologist and therapist as well as executive coach I quickly discovered that many intelligent, high-achieving Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-86623708004412389772011-09-28T12:25:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:49:08.571-07:00Newsweek's Report on Women's Progress, plus a Few LeftoversNote re 8/22 and 9/26 bog posts
I thought Monday's information about "ego depletion" which I found in a NYTimes Book Review and a New Yorker article by John Tierney mentioning "decision fatigue" seemed similar in concept, but I didn't figure it all out until I checked back. Both are authors of a recent book, Willpower. They are both marketing the book zealously as authors must, and in the Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-7256368263531939412011-09-26T13:45:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:43:48.108-07:00No Negative Self-Tallk for Intelligent WomenA new book that's getting buzz reminds me of my book in progress, Handbook #1for Intelligent Women Only: Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit. Roy Baumeister and John Tierney have a new book about willpower, titled Willpower, Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. The book review notes that the author's use of the metaphor of self-control as a muscle has a kernel of neurobiological truth. Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-35354120528941394072011-09-23T13:02:00.000-07:002011-10-05T15:11:04.197-07:00Problem-Solve Out Loud and Alone — Even if It Feels Wacky
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While writing an article about problem-solving for a magazine, I found some Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-20180699714427781092011-09-21T11:21:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:49:39.466-07:00If You're a Wander Woman, Let Go of Some AssumptionsHere's the next piece from Wander Woman by Marcia Reynolds. I wrote about it first on September 7th so you might check back on that post if you missed it. Reynolds, a psychologist, labels Chapter 4 of her book "R" for Reality as she hits high-achieving women over the heads with some alarming assumptions they generally have about themselves.
• There is a right answer and it is mine.
• Everything Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-55861941815361107302011-09-19T09:38:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:37:20.530-07:00Logical/Rational/Emotional Expressiveness?Back to blogging and realizing a brief break from anything that you can break from, is useful. As I returned to my blog and reread the the blurb under the title I reacted to the first sentence. "Intelligentwomenonly.com targets smart women who want to think logically,
behave confidently, and handle their lives with greater intellect and lesser emotion."
I asked myself, "What does it mean to Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-6176060477202004082011-09-13T09:17:00.000-07:002011-09-13T09:17:01.629-07:00Posting vacation for this weekThought I could manage my life with family visitors for a week. I can't! In the interest of staying in the moment, avoiding negative-self-talk and other stressfl causes and consequences, I'm going to say focused on home and not on work this week. You might check out some articles/posts that you haven't read. You can search by word at the bottom of the blog site. I'll be back Monday the 19th.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-3714048228215282972011-09-09T08:30:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:27:33.226-07:00Buddha and the BrainHave you noticed lately a plethora of books and articles connecting Buddha and brains? Buddha's Brain and Contemplative Science: Where Buddhism and Neuroscience Converge are a couple of the books and here's a link to a PT article. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/neuro-atheism/201101/buddhism-and-neuroscience
I'm not sure why or how this sudden interest in the connection between Buddhism and Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-15746226849314529442011-09-07T09:30:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:50:13.268-07:00Being Perfect Versus Being Right — Wander Woman by Marcia ReynoldsBeing perfect versus being right, a subhead of Chapter 4 in Marcia Reynolds' book Wander Woman, How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction, grabbed my attention. I had always thought that being perfect and being right went together but she pointed out, with a zing, that there's quite a difference.
A bit of background first. This is a business book for women, focused on "the new Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-20549327775959820712011-09-05T11:50:00.000-07:002011-10-12T08:08:01.924-07:00"The Brain is Like Velcro for Negative Experiences . . ." and teflon for positive ones," says Whitney Joiner in her 9/2011article in Whole Living Magazine. The brain tends to hoard the negative stuff forever, or until we take action to eliminate it, and lets the positive slip-slide away. I think of the negative thought as a woodpecker who flies in to our minds, makes a nest, raises her kids and keeps pecking away — while the positive thought is a a Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-26865597201808798922011-09-02T08:16:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:20:32.264-07:00Unwinding Works Best in the ParkA friend told me a story a few days ago about being in Seattle with her husband after a difficult doctor's appointment. They had hoped for good news, a fun time after enjoying the opportunities of the big city. She was bummed, although not desparately depressed or gloomy but she wasn't upbeat. Her husband made a bunch of suggestions of activities: a movie, the museum, shopping, sightseeing, the Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-75643472718874965442011-08-31T10:18:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:50:47.968-07:00Reduction in Pregnancy? What?I've struggled with whether to put this article link on intelligentwomenonly.com, but decided to do it after a couple of weeks of pushing and puling the topic around in my head. It's one of the most disturbing articles I've read — won't evaporate from my mind.
"The Two-Minus-One Pregnancy" is the title of the NYTimes Magazine article, August 14th, 2011. The topic theoretically is the old and newIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-83722076137734879692011-08-29T15:10:00.000-07:002011-10-10T17:19:43.986-07:00Have Compassion for YourselfGoria Steinem, dubbed the "most familiar face of the women's movement" in a recent NYTimes article, says while talking about her own retrospective view of herself; "I saw how uncertain, how vulnerable I seemed.. . . In the moment, women are more likely to be self-critical. Looking back you have compassion for yourself."
Whether you're a negative self-talker or not, start the week this Monday Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-52961444811627516392011-08-26T15:14:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:31:05.987-07:00Preventing An "Undignified State" of Inaction"To understand worry is to know it calmly and clearly for what it is: transient, contingent and devoid of intrinsic identity. Whereas to misunderstand it is to freeze it into something fixed, separate, and independent. Worrying about whether a friend still likes us, for example becomes an isolated thing rather than a part of a process emerging from a stream of contingencies. This perception Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-27465840533200607152011-08-24T09:15:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:53:09.997-07:00Basics/Addiction to Negative Self-TalkBack to the basics of intelligentwomenonly origins — eliminating the negative self-talk habit, with habit the key word.
• Women and girls are the primary addicted group — addicted to self put downs.
• The NaSTy habit results in low self-esteem, high stress, decreased productivity.
• Breaking the habit is difficult and results in higher self-esteem, lower stress, increased productivity.
• Many Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-557365886367848242011-08-22T16:02:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:21:33.988-07:00Decision FatigueHere's the link to the NYT Magazine article, "To Choose is to Lose", August 21st. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/21/magazine/do-you-suffer-from-decision-fatigue.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=To%20Choose%20is%20to%20Lose&st=cse Here's my take-away for me and you. Readers may already know about the research results. I didn't and found it useful so I'm passing it on as a good way to start the week.
"DecisionIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-21679775365910587142011-08-19T08:51:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:22:47.186-07:00More on Saying NoSaying "no" is an art. It's also a great stress reduction technique. And it also can produce stress via the negative self-talk produced by thinking:
Will she think I'm insensitive, uncaring, mean?
Will he retaliate when I ask him to do something?
Will she reject me from the "no" point forward?
Will they think I'm rude, selfish?
And people might think or do any of these things. And they might Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-24114221352608533732011-08-17T13:25:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:37:42.767-07:00Equity in the Gender Division of Labor — Reality/Perception The article, "Chore Wars" Time magazine, Aug. 8, 2011, generated lots of thoughts and commentary. I can't link to it because I'm not a subscriber, but if you google Chore Wars you'll see articles/commentary about the Time article. The "surprise" point is that contrary to current popular opinion, leftover from a few decades ago, working men and women are doing approximately equal amounts of work,Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-28926758791665547062011-08-15T21:19:00.000-07:002011-08-15T21:19:06.343-07:00OOPS! A missed post.Sorry, I was driving home from Portland today after the Providence Bridge Pedal bike ride on Sunday. Lots of fun, but I expected to be home earlier than I actually arrived and hadn't brought any electronic devices with me. I was focused on the ride, having fun, being relaxed and saying "NO" to electronic responsibilities. I hope you're all doing extremely well without me and I'll be back in gear Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-16325917392738399752011-08-12T13:53:00.000-07:002011-10-11T20:35:14.184-07:00Say No — Once this WeekendI recently read a brief article about busyness as a way to escape from thinking about things we don't want to think about; also as a reason why people avoid meditation. Then I ran across the article ( link below) about busyness from a PT blogger, who suggests therapy might be needed in serious cases of busyness. I think there are other ways of dealing with busyness, and other ways to think aboutIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-86337059606504738542011-08-10T12:14:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:51:08.796-07:00Conflict for Strong Women? Dependence vs. IndependenceMarcia Reynolds Psy.D, a PT blogger, and former colleague posted a provocative article about the greatest weakness of strong women. Here's the link if you want to read it.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201107/the-greatest-weakness-strong-women/comments
I definitely identified with Reynolds' viewpoint and recalled an old research study, which of course I now can't find, that Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-29023906506989141472011-08-08T11:49:00.000-07:002011-10-05T15:20:57.713-07:00One Step at A Time — Problem-Solving for MondayMoving on today to problem-solving from — detachment, creating space, backing off and letting go techniques. The detachment category of stress reduction is often the best way to deal with negative self-talk as well as external stressors, and it's hard to learn. For some people, any staring into space, mind emptying techniques produce an onslaught of unwanted stressful thoughts and feelings at Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-14108380041572698062011-08-05T13:51:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:53:51.497-07:00Create Space by Being in the MomentAlthough weekends can be stressful in their unique way, focusing on here and now, a tricky achievement, can help.
A suggestion was made at yoga this morning that we create more space between each negative thought, so that rather than one negative thought, e.g. "I never should have said that," bursting in air into twenty negative thoughts, "I always say the wrong thing," "I'm an idiot sometimes,Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-43378249128226387492011-08-03T11:13:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:51:35.806-07:00Intelligent Women and Courage Psychology Today blogger Steven Kotler has an interesting article about courage on his site. He mentions the lack of research about the topic and starts his own examination of the understudied concept. He says, "Considering the massive spike in anxiety-disorders in the past few decades, this dearth seems especially troublesome." I agree, thinking particularly of past posts titled, "Anxiety isIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-6735842936288483862011-08-01T14:05:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:24:46.345-07:00A Monday and the First Day of the Month is a Great Time to DetachAll the best advice I've received from friends in the last few days has been focused on detachment as the solution to stress problems that involve lots of people, anger, frustration, controversy, accusations and conflict. Theoretically, I'm an expert on detachment because of my long-term experience with meditation. In practice however I can over-engage, which is sort of a synonym for too intense,Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-25385535802997603412011-07-29T08:32:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:27:12.651-07:00Is it really OK to be NOT OK?Just read a quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the late psychiatrist and author.
"I'm not okay, you're not okay, and that's OK." Said with a few deep breaths can help when you're annoyed with yourself, uptight about someone else, dissatisfied with your current situation, or just grumpy. It's a change of pace from our current cultural competitive, "I'm the best,"mentality. It doesn't fit with the Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-62556250718836135862011-07-27T08:33:00.000-07:002011-10-12T11:52:11.552-07:00Have you Seen the Ad? What Do You Think, intelligentwomenonly? This is the message I received earlier in the week from Anne Doyle. "Have you seen the multi-million dollar "Hail to the V" ad campaign that Summer's Eve (feminine hygiene products) corporation has just launched? Voices are beginning to be raised from women who say they are racist and sexist. I've been asked by Forbeswoman.com to write a column on the ads. I first saw one of the ads last Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-30301367521238236942011-07-25T09:42:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:28:37.471-07:00"The perfect is STILL the enemy of the good," but Harder to Apply on Monday.I hope last Friday's (7/22) post was as useful to readers as it was to me over the weekend. We had company for dinner on Friday night and I completely forgot the Black Pepper/Parmesan biscotti* which was part of the main course. My husband saw it a bit later and brought out the biscotti with dessert. It definitely didn't go well with dessert — and its appearance made obvious that I had forgotten.Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-50912345003329717612011-07-22T12:54:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:29:30.198-07:00"The perfect is the enemy of the good"In The Writer magazine, an article titled "5 Keys to Keep Readers Reading," quoted Voltaire. I investigated online (Wikipedia) to get the understory. Voltaire was a French writer, historian and philosopher famous for his wit and for his advocacy of civil liberties, including freedom of religion and free trade. The quote comes from what is called a moral poem, La Bégueule and is considered a Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-11415526741089351442011-07-20T16:49:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:38:06.372-07:00Different Perspectives on Living Together-Men and WomenHere's another example of how differently men and women think and feel from Michigan Alumnus magazine, spring 2011. The findings are based on research by sociologist Pamela Smock at U-M.
• "Love" was the reason for living together cited by women, "Sex" was the reason expressed most frequently by the men.
• Men saw the arrangement as a way to "test drive" a relationship while women saw it as a Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-64523624311739696922011-07-18T14:57:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:38:55.989-07:00No Wonder Men and Women Get Frustrated with Each Other Sometimes!
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Monday's post is usually a stress reduction technique at the beginning of the work week. This Monday the post will probably stress you out if it reminds you of your life right now. My Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-55790283933135863742011-07-15T09:26:00.000-07:002011-10-04T14:33:01.535-07:00Just NoticeAh, the weekend. The recent theme of Friday posts has related to removing yourself mentally (and sometimes physically) from chaos and intense emotion. Yes, it's a journey not a destination. This weekend just notice, without evaluation, what is happening when you feel a 7-10 sense of inner intensity whether anger or anxiety, apathy or lethargy. Without evaluation means without adding variations ofIntelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5630711609871539058.post-43819121731124830252011-07-13T12:36:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:39:31.561-07:00To Vent or Not To Vent — The Researchers' Question The article, That Jerk! Venting May Make You Feel Worse, (Link below) cites the results of recent research.
"When encountering stressful events in daily life, venting to a friend about them may not always be helpful, a new study concludes. The results showed that when people with some traits of perfectionism faced daily setbacks, venting to a friend often made them feel less satisfied Intelligent Women Onlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06572018068389360340noreply@blogger.com0